Makeup Guru

Celeste thansk for the story --read on...
If you've ever watched back-to-back reruns of The Simpsons (and let's face it, you have), you may be familiar with the concept of eyelash extensions. They were the secret weapon (illegal in the United States!) that allowed the curly haired Shirley Temple clone to triumph over Lisa in the beauty pageant episode. If you've ever watched back to back reruns of The Simpsons, you may also be aware that the show's absurdist sense of the surreal can ultimately end up communicating fundamental truths about the world we live in.

It sure does in this case: while they may not require an illegal cosmetic surgery trip to Mexico, eyelash extensions are a secret weapon.

They're also, in theory, a little absurd. True to their name, eyelash extensions work a little like hair extensions, they sit glued in amongst your natural lashes, enhancing their thickness, fullness, and of course, length. Just like with hair extensions, there are a lot of different options to choose from depending on what sort of look you want, and how much you're willing to pay. The three main varieties are acrylic, silk and the most recent to land on Australian shores, mink hair.

It was the latter variety I chose to try. There's something so obscenely opulent about the idea of getting mink hair glued into my eyelashes I was both scandalised and tantalised.

Bear in mind it takes pretty specialised training to be able to fit in eyelash extensions (it's long lasting glue, right near your eyes, so the fact it takes learning time is a very good thing), so they're not something you can get done at any old salon.

When I sit down to have mine fitted, I'm informed warmly but bluntly by my technician that my virginal eyebrows (no really, before that day, they'd never been plucked), were wonky, and that  I should get them evened out. "I just want you to look as good as possible," she said apologetically. No complaints here. My inaugural tweezing was not as painful as I expected. Yes it hurt, but it was more the 'ow' of an ant bite than the 'AUGH! THE FACT THAT THIS HAS BECOME A SOCIAL NORM IS PROOF OF THE PATRIARCHY'S EXISTENCE' smiting of a bikini wax.

With my brows no longer akimbo, it was time time close my eyes and allow myself to be extended. My technician fitted papers under my eyes to prevent any overspill, and instructed me to close my eyes and relax. Like any fine art, good lash extensions take time, rather a lot of time in fact. It's an hour long process, and you have to keep your lids locked down the whole time. If you wear contact lenses, they recommend you remove them.

The thought of having someone faff delicately with glue around the windows to my soul for an hour was not, at first an appealing one. The sensation, however, was more unusual than unpleasant, a light, feathery fussing around the eye area. "It's gonna be a big transformation!" My therapist promised. I tried to imagine how much of a change could be effected by a few extra lengths of fur in my lashes. "So, uhh," I begin, eyes shut. "How do you get the mink hair?"

"Oh, it's Siberian Mink, all taken from their tails because that's where the fur is nicest," my technician begins. "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt the minks. The hair is brushed off."

I contemplate the idea of rough Russian hands gently combing down ink coloured minks, and then…

Blackness.

Normally one to get chatty with my beauty therapists, I'm out like a light for almost the entire treatment. This, apparently, is totally normal.

I woozily blinked myself awake, my eyes felt a little gooey, and they stream out some, but there's no stinging sensation. And then, as I come to full consciousness, I'm handed a mirror.

And Oh.My.God. It's astonishing what a difference a few (okay a lot) of extra, extra long lashes can make to your overall appearance. Barefaced though I am, I look impossibly glamourous. These lashes reach lengths that defy logic, and yet, at the same time, no matter how hard I peep at myself in the mirror, I cannot find their false lines. The only thing that prevents them looking real is the fact that I know they cannot possibly be real.

Suddenly, it dawns on me that this is one of the reasons Hollywood stars tend to look better than regular people. It's not that they wake up every morning and affix themselves with false eyelashes, they all have extensions.

Extensions that make your eyes look more dramatic, more open, more alive and more alluring.

Suddenly, I find myself engaging in the kind of reflection-gazing narcissism normally only a really good haircut can induce. I check myself out in every shiny surface, I feel as if every flutter and bat will begin a hurricane on the other side of the world.

In short, I look good. I look expensive.

Over the next few weeks, not a day goes by that I don't get a compliment on my lashes. And it's never 'Oh wow, are you wearing false eyelashes?' either, instead 'oh my god, your eyelashes are really long.' When I lean in and conspiratorially whisper that they're extensions, I'm met with disbelief. The only person that picked them, to my face at least, knows my looks so well it would be more offensive if she couldn't tell they weren't real.

Eyelash extensions last a maximum of six weeks, but they do start to shed slowly before that. Three weeks in, mine are still looking very dramatic, if a little depleted, and I regularly swim and use the sauna, as someone who sleeps on one side, I have noticed they're a little off-balance. But then, I've been looking at myself a lot lately.

Eyelash extensions may seem like an insanely high maintenance thing to get done (they sure make you look high maintenance), but as someone who wears very little makeup, I think I've probably noticed the difference in my day to day appearance more than if I were the sort of girl who had the energy to get up  early every morning and create face.

There is, however, one thing about looking expensive… It costs a lot of money. I cringe as I put down the phone from booking my refill appointment, and reflect that a crack habit may have been a cheaper acquisition. 

How much is it: It's pretty opulently priced. Mink hair lashes cost $300 for a full set, and top ups are about $80 a pop. Acrylic and silk extensions are cheaper, and can be used to create different effects,  but the mink hair is the most natural looking option. You can also get a half-set put in for $100, and reusable mink false eyelash strips are available from between $39-59.

Where do you get it: Find your nearest salon here.

How often do you need it: They recommend you get your extensions filled in every two to three weeks.

Who should get it: Because of their cost, they're probably a better bet for girls who have a big, special event like a dance or a fashion week coming up. Anything where you want to look seriously good for several weeks with minimal effort. If you're getting married and going on a honeymoon you probably actually need to get eyelash extensions. Need. And hey, for everyone else, if you've got the cash and inclination, why the hell not.

Who shouldn't get it: People who hate having their eyes touched, or have extremely sensitive eyes should avoid this one. Since the treatment takes an hour, and infills are an additional half hour to 45 minutes each time, the time-poor should probably also avoid. As for the regularly poor, forget it.

Would I do it again: First thing I'm spending my lottery winnings on.

Khush Singh - Celebrity & Indian Bridal Makeup Artist
 

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